081207

Laying here I cant help but wonder if I will ever see any of you ever again. I am doubtless to my visions of the Stars but what of the rest of the life blood? You opened my writers heart and now I lay here bleeding onto the sheets with no one here to clean me up. Stop my bleeding, bleeding heart I am so emo, goodness gracious. [Patrick you inspire me, I don't think you ever took my compliments the right way but they were intended.] I miss you all, I miss the energy of a place where I can write, where I can share, where there is no judgement except if I mispronounce Souix or any other word. I just want to rush in the waves and run into the wind and feel the bitter cold against my bare skinned flesh. I want to laugh with you again and hear your sweet sweet music singing mystic melodies into my thoughts. I miss your spinning words inside my mind reaching deep down into my soul, reaching, repeating and resounding verse after verse oh your echoed words have become my curse for I can hear them on repeate like a cheap pop song but never can I reach the words that bring the depth back into my soul. I miss your depth, I feel spite for those around me now who are so out of touch, so unattached, as I was before tasting the weeklong dripping of your literary juices that left me lusting and longing for POETRY. Give me poetry! I want life lived poetically and verse and prose and rhyme and MEANING. I am sick of careless words spouted over the ears of those who suffer them. I am sick of those I interract with speaking without thought of the consequence of their vocabulary. DAMNIT I miss poetry camp; a place where people were open and vulnerable and thoughtful and understanding that everyone is just as vulnerable as you are so DON'T SPIT IN MY MOUTH your nasty skull spit tobacco chew verbs. I need poetic sympathy and hesitation and careful planning of words. I miss you all so much but even more I miss that environment where everything was Fort Flagler and bunkers and bon fires and the Puget Sound and the icey winds and the beaches and the stars scattered momentarily across the blackened night sand. I miss Julia with her openess and undeniable wit, her uncontrollable life and elvin spirit dancing wild across the fire-lit night. I miss Riley with his raw emotions poaring thick across a page to deliver deepness unobtainable by others, his nightlife thrashing passion music filling the night with moshes and stupid uninhibited choices. I miss Erin with her sweet suduction flowing musically sultery into the silenced darkess for everyone will hold their breath to hear what she has to say. Her beauty spoken open sharing love and warmth for every traveling heart to experience. I miss you all, and now I am so tired but I need to list each one of you sharing how I miss your very life. I miss you Stephen, your poetry shockingly humorous and real, carefully chosen words that shot through the thickness of the day and opened my eyes to the reality that things are NEVER what they seem- and Sarah how your gentle voice and unrelenting patience shared Stephen's heart with us with a absolute passion that I have never before seen in a human. Day in and day out I hear your gentle voice repeating, "Breakfast now, breakfast now." I miss that careful melody that played throughout my mind in constant multitude, a consistant reminder not to forget what you have taught to me.

I will continue to share my memories tomorrow...