012308

Snow is blowing wildly in the wind- low across the highway. I feel like my headlights are guiding me through ocean waves and the seduction of riptides. The 'brights' lever keeping rhythm with those traveling towards, and then past me. The dark road is covered in snow, and even worse- the occasional ice. But there is safety carved on the pavement by those who have come before me. I am driving slow- everyone is driving slow- below the speedlimit. Either by caution of dangerous roads, or by the overwhelming vision of the winter night sky. The clear black scattered with points of light is awe enough but to bring the darkness swelling with the light of the full moon is almost unbearable ecstasy. I am watching the sky, when I should be watching the road. But I am watching the road. But mostly, I am watching the moon.

012108

You will pour down me
like water and wine
- from cool summer rains -
down the sunburned throats,
laughing children,
too young for the burn that
fills the stomach
and makes the minds open
and turn
as the pages of a farietale.

Your voice will be
like candlelight.
Making everything soften
after a lifetime of florescence
blaring to expose
every hurt
etched across the body.

And you
will make me beautiful.

ready or not.

fucking

fuck

I want to kick something

like

a wall

fuck

and typing is like
trying to slam the phone on someone
with a cordless phone

CLICK!

hahahahhaa

no,

you are ready

you are ready

You've never been more ready.

because I am leaving in two days

and we can't go innertubing

and I had to say goodbye to my friends

and to my sister, and my nephew

and my mother is loosing her mind

like really

and its scaring me

and I am tired of crying

and tired of being mad

and tired of not packing

and I don't want to leave Choxie

and I don't want to leave you

and I don't feel like I am ready for this one bit

and my cat will probably die while Im gone