Monday, December 31, 2012

Our kids.

I will teach my children to fall asleep to anything.
They will eat apricots on salsa bread
And share their lullaby stories with me.

I will kiss their eyes
with the butterfly mouth of motherhood
and shield them from hip hop reality.

I want to make your children.
They will be lost boys
crossed with sewer turtle vigilantes.

You will never be more proud
than when we teach them to run.
Our kids will run to the moon.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Our full-sized bed

1. Please don't speak for three minutes
2. Thank you, just put them right there
3. I'm overwhelmed and we've not even started
4. If we had more time, I'd love you right
5. Our next minute alone is January 3rd?
6. I'd like to love you right now
7. I'm Mrs. - You're Mr. - Let's do this
8. Tomorrow, I'll need you to pick me up
9. Thanks for changing over the laundry
10. Darling, could you turn off the light?

Friday, December 21, 2012

Your bad day.

My teeth crunch with strawberry frost.
I want to cry dark purple
I want to cry the color of air just before it snows
Because nothing is right in my winter
when something's wrong with you.


I ache for snow
but those flakes melt miles above me
and all I have is rain

Can't we ever break
from weeks and weeks of rain?
It's in my eyes now - that rain

I ache for snow.
It creeps my veins now - that snow
my hair gets lighter
the backs of my hands change to blue.

The snow fills my bones
and I can't get warm at night.
Under piles of blanket all I get is rain
I sweat rain all night through but
snow still floats my blood.
I can't get rid of it.

Because my sky tints green with violet clouds
When something is wrong with you.


I can smile December sunsets
electric in their fleeting light
and still the snow will never fall.
That snow will never come.

Because snow makes us clean, dear
and we're still dripping
with muddy pines and rising King Tides.

I'm drowning under
and it just keeps coming - that rain
Your streams become my grave
Your song salutes my freezing heart
'cause I'm still full of mountain song

My avalanche just shivers when you pass
'Cause nothing's right with the frost, dear
when there's something wrong with you.


And it just keeps on raining - that rain!
I'm chained to the earth by it
My blizzard soul is buried
in the very flood of you.

How can I swim
when I don't even know
up in your downpour?

You are dripping moss and breaking boughs
laden with water
as that rain keeps falling and falling - that rain

'Cause nothing is right in my winter
when there's something wrong with you!


As the solstice falls dark to night
I present you with my crystal heart
Pop apart my button flannel
to reveal lungs full of snow
and a heart grown still with winter.

You pry between icicle ribs
and carve a tiny shape behind my breathing -

You are my heart.
Your raindrop silhouette
carved into my spine
is why nothing is right in my world, dear
when there's something wrong with you.

Monday, December 17, 2012

December 14, 2012

Dear Psycho,

You are unspeakable.
But please, let me try.
Despicable, indigestible, monster.

Your demons took the lives of angels.
If anyone believes there isn't a holy war going on
Now you've proven them wrong.

You are flesh walking
under the crown of Satan.
You monster.

And a coward -
such a perfect snake you were
that now we can't even cry justice on your back.

We have nothing.

You devoured our pure and perfect children
and left us with no one to hang.

I ache for your family.
I ache for your victims.
I ache for our country - you monster!

My children unborn are crying
our nation's heart is breaking
for the lives you stole from their futures.

I am faced - not with an incapacitating wall
of overwhelming
but with a vengeance with which to fight.

I will love more fiercely.
I will care more deeply
and I will prove to you that goodness is not dead!

And your gut-wrenching evil
cannot win this battle.
Good will overcome.

Why?
Because God is love
and love will destroy you in the end!

We spit in your grave tonight Devil
because LOVE will destroy you
in the end.

This is a promise.
From a daughter of God.
From a daughter of love.
This is a promise!

Big Tin Christmas

Big Tin Baby I've got all you want for Christmas!
Shout it from the breaking bands
I'm gonna bring you to your knees!

Big Tin Baby
don't you try to guess it
'cause this is your New Year's dream!

Shoot me full of novocaine
cause I'm too high on you
I'm pounding!

Big Tin Baby thrown it down
like thundering coin
on the dreams of subway beggar.

Baby break it down
like applesauce and
don't ask me what I got you cause -

it'll break you when you get it.
Get it?
I do.

I got dreams for you baby.
Big dreams indeed. Big Tin.
Big Tin dreams - indeed.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

It's really not so complicated after all

Unsent packages
half-burned mixed disks
and "I'm sorry"
just won't make it
off my mouth

'Cause 8-mile freedom
and broken bleating stars
have to fall
for us to cast our wishes.

And

You've always been nice dear
you've always been nice
like dark chocolate
with espresso
and raw tabacco.

My

unsent half moments
I've thought through the day
without follow
or faulter
since I can't seem to stutter

these words from my missing
these days of my damned
'cause I'm blissing
as you're dying
So I'll open a space for you.

My sweet little nice dear
I'll splice in my chest dear
with dark chocolate
and espresso
that's always been yours.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

List Poem: From Untying Old Boxes

1. How many secrets would I loose if I tossed it?
2. Watch for falling poetry.
3. "Resilience should only smell like cigarettes and hope."
4. Pain unsent.
5. "Can we tie him to his bunk tomorrow? Duct tape?"
6. Watercolor sunsets.
7. Dear John poems full of regret.
8. Bus tickets to Washington, DC.
9. First sketches from 1872.
10. A hundred half-filled notebooks.
11. Unsent presents.

050910: Secrets Made In Caves

I lay your head upon my chest
and here shoots lightning
Lightning I tell you!
Glass split in my veins engraving,
"I love you."

I slipped on the most evident sound
of summer sighs under pounding rain
and fingers curling over skin
and here I tweeze from my sputtering heart: Tines.

This one made of crystal
This one made of glass
and my favorite
oh- my favorite
made from ghosts of nicotine
and whispering,
"Don't worry,"
with the surest of eyes
"you could be like her."

And every time I hold you
press you to my place
you could break
with just your hand
I am pounding out diamonds
from the cave in my chest
whispering,
"Forever."

VAULT: May Sometime 2010; From the Bottom of Broken

I'm a destruction
deconstruction of function
but she loves the drinks I make
like no other intoxication

and that day in Seattle
we kissed for the photographer
by the fountain; no-
on the hilltop; no-
down the staircase; no-
in the street.

But really, we kissed for destiny.

That was fly slaps on white thighs
and wanting desperately
I'd never dreamed of you before.
To show without shouting
world announced as yours.
Yours.

But then I dropped it in the river
and now my cherry skin is over-ripe
I'm no cherry.
And I'm actually infected.

I'll eat your brain
or heart
whichever I can get to first and
one day you'll wake and realize
you don't love me anymore.
Or will it be me?

But we made promises.
Promises damn it!
And promises I intend to keep!
(And I'm so scared of loosing you.)

So come what comes
and bring it on
'cause I know I wont let you go
without a fight
and then some!

Come what come
I'm keeping you
regardless of the struggle
'cause when I said forever
I meant until I die
and then some!

So I'll break your things
I'll be terrified
but this sickness I carve from your worry
will be shaped like:
I love you.

And the barbecue flesh
will taste sweet
between bed sheets and aloe
I love you.

And when I look into your eyes at night
I will know completely
you love me
and then some.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Choco-love Confessions

I just remembered there are love poems in the world!
Poems on bliss and the overflow of sunshine in a lover's palms.
No more poems of angst and tragedy
where I am in competition over who had a harder life.

I am in love with the grass my soulmate stands on
I breathe his air like chocolate in my lungs
You can be jealous and judge me for wanting to hold his children inside my soul
but- you can never take away what we have grown to be-
he completes me.

I love my soulmate with the fire of a thousand winters
and the waters of every wave in the sea.
He is my last love-
my true only

Young couples will ache for us side-by-side in the park at eighty
and they will write manuscripts of our love when we're gone.
I will never love another with the fierce absolute volcano I am for him
and somewhere I think you're afraid you'll never know how that feels.

How can you be a poet and find yourself so cynical?
How can you grow up from the romance of true love?!

I am a fairy tale girl.
I am a one mate for a thousand lifetimes lover and I believe deep down you are too!
Do not forsake the love that waits to find you!
Do not give up so easily there is always enough time!

My lover is the substance on which I survive
My lover is the half of my heart I never knew I was missing until he filled it
He is every flower in my spring, every rain drop on my roof
and ever tear I shed at sappy moments now because my heart is so wide open.

He is the lines around my eyes
and the hand upon my back holding me close to his beautifully beating heart.
I would not trade the expanse of the world for one second I get to spend in his smile.
I would not exchange one night by his side for a million years of adventure alone unless;
it was to give me another day with him.

So, judge me.
Tell me I've sold my spirit and given my dreams away but
don't we all trade dreams for new ones we discover?
Allow yourself to keep dreaming too!

I know there's a soulmate out there for you!
Don't scoff when I say you'll be married.
Don't close your heart to the idea of true love- it's biological!
You can't escape the thing that coils our existence together
from the very beginning of time-

Do not give up on love!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

A Postcard to Washington

What a beautiful look
from the window today
the depths of my own
Puget Sound

Lit and refracting a
frost-linen sun
a patchwork of valley
and bounds

A madman went wild
with rivers and streams
quick fingers
caressing the stone

a-growing in fury
with heightened suspense
the mountains that make this
my home

You're gorgeous Rainier
dressed in snow to your base
breathtaking
with sisters in tail

your face beams across
the excited foot fear
dance wild
in praise of your years

Oh Washington wild I am yours
you are mine
May I never forsake
what I know

That your trees are all ancient
the home of our souls
and your valleys forever
I'll roam

Firefly

To my dearest of firefly eyes
you taught me to pee out of doors
my firefly, my fly

With the face of fawn
Mrs. Pan sweet and sullen
my firefly, my fly

You fled to California
firefly, to dance on the faces of stars
to shine as the birth of a light in the the sky
to burn down the mouth of L.A.'s grind
oh firefly, my firefly, my fly

You screamed in emerald of sand and of sun
You showed me how gypsies behave
my firefly, fly, how I miss you my fly

to live under star spangled violet
lining the roof of your VW mansion
my firefly, fly

My firefly
My firefly
My fly

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine.

Today is a day for getting back to gritty
we wake up to falling satin
hurried hands
lips made of steel
tooth and iron
we make love
by skipping breakfast

and you are late to work

You are wild with determination
I am again and again
your wild African vine
adorning poison crimson

I want a hundred times
you rise to deliver
I need a million times
soft spoken
hard rushing
deep breathed kissing
and you grow claws
to rise
and bring it to me

You are everything I never asked for
everything I went without
Your arms are chocolate for breakfast
fast around my bending rib
Your smile is sunshine every day
a whole life filled with summer
Your eyes are my own constellations
Your hands ancient trees on my house
and your voice is the wind
beating fast in my heart
every time I long to travel

I touch you on morning
churning oil in my veins
strike a match and
we are one

breath
body
beating heart

we are one

every move we make
together
our arteries sprouting through skin
encircling intertwined hands
with matching wedding rings

I love you.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Muse.

She is fried bacon
my ceramic membrane cannot escape
She is sickly desire
and I cannot part
memories of ocean side
bubble baths
and the best New Year's Eve
I've ever had
: steam punk cigarettes
and perfect crimson heels
I can never wear again

She infects finely groomed nails
the dripping muse I can only capture
in dreams

The haiku master told me
in her final breathing sonnet:

heartbreak
open door
a writer's heart

and then she told me it was not a haiku
only an observation
as the bourbon rocks crashed from her hand

I was wild
unbridled
unbroken
gouging my flesh
on thickets of Himalayan Blackberry.
Blood pooled my toes
filling cracks with cakes deep and red
I only wanted to fly
Each attempt I lost one:

one respect
one humility
one mystery
then respect again

And my muse remained
quizzical
crinkled between the eyes
soothing fevers in my sleep
applying lye to open wounds
dipping fluoride to my water hole.
She tried to save me
soothe me
give me just a little bit more-
She lost herself.

Her ceramic membrane could not escape
the sick intoxication
fried bacon stuck in her vegan grooves
my blood drowning her body
night after night after-

I cannot escape my muse
fire in a broken heart
we've found it once again.

Archive: February 9, 2011- Equal Rights

I walked into a supernova
I expected inspiration
but- damn; a supernova

I became the girl with wild lips
the one I used to know
on the peninsula beach
screaming slipping syllables
down her succulent face

I became brazen, offensive,
even honest.
Oh so honest.
Age has made me her.
Honest
Offensive
Brazen
I fought for irony
and threw up sarcasm in your hurricane breakfast.

I was once again for a fleeting glimpse
your horse child
I was the daughter of Brautigan
and the lips that kissed the lips of Ginsberg
I was Kate Crowes fitful infant
but only for a glimpse.

Shut your eyes
and I will break the silence
ruin the mood
and rebut every cleaver line you own.

I've returned your rightful winnings with-
I don't like you, but I respect you
You deserve to win
but I deserve to compete
I hope this is what you were looking for.