030908

Single sliced. individually wrapped. American cheese. Is a pretty great analogy for what we, Americans, project as our image. We strive for a perfection that leaves us over-processed and utterly lacking in sustenance. Our image is comprised of artificial everything and we are wrapped in too much materialism. You think the average piece of American is sustainable to the planet? Forget about it. We are hermetically sealed in cellophane- to be viewed and not touched- and our bodies will look pristine for decades after we've expired. We will survive the nuclear holocaust along with the Twinkies and the cockroach. We have been transformed from what we used to be- something naturally recognizable- into a commercialized super-mutant that bears little resemblance to what we came from. We have become flash above health and oversimplified for your Mother's convenience. Yet, at the same time, we are delicious. You don't know why but you can't stop eating us despite the attempts of your conscious screaming, "No! No! Bad for you! Unhealthy, unclean!" and flashing images of fat thighs in all shades upon the back of your mind like an old movie projecting dreams to your dreamer. Regardless of our known impurities you can't resist just one more bite of cheese flavored goodness genetically engineered to make you weak in the knees. The American is nostalgia and temptation. That transparent shell makes you want us even more. To peel off the wrapping and fold us up and shove us whole between your hungry lips. You will eat and eat us long past when you are full because, that's the irresistible charm of us. All-American. You will stop yourself only after its too late and you have American stuck to your tongue and thick in your throat and creamed in your teeth. You will curse yourself for giving in but each and every time you'll do it again. We masquerade under the facade of something good for you and you let yourself believe it because the taste of American is sinful like chocolate.

030408

Heart pound of
thumping thumping
ears and throat
and thumping thumping
arm and spine and
thumping thumping
Yet I really should be sleeping.
thump thump
And frozen feet
thump thump
And with muscles tense
thump thump
beetles humming
thump thump
all in my ears and
thump thump
thump thump
I know the sleep's not coming

An excerpt.

"

But I am stubborn. I will wait with ice-cold feet for the sun to return and the warmth to be natural. I will remain here longer than I should with blind faith that this day will never end. The sun is such a tease and I am the ripest fool. But I can put off responsibility for one more hour. I got up early today.
Yes will start my car and let it run. I will settle for artificial heat and an imagination that makes it okay. I will ignore my roommates, my duties, for just a little bit longer. Who knows, perhaps I will be gifted a sunset in return for my loyalty. Maybe I will just run out of gas.
...
But then, the sun can be so cruel before dusk- blinding those who love it with severely slanting light. And man-made heat fails to satisfy when your face to waist is overwarmed and toes go on neglected. And faster than I'd like this place is becoming less than the attraction it once was.

"