Oh boy.

Last night I was on fire,
but the morning
brings a sickness
in the smoldering.

Damn this smoke.
it always leaves me
reeking desolate.
Yes, desolate.

I need sunlight
and water.
I need purity.
Sanctuary.

I need a head so clear
I could sort you out
see you the way you are
and then box you up

for storage
and then
put you
away.

I’m so tired of you
laying around my floor.
I’m so tired of you
catching my feet dragging.

I’m so tired of this
pull on my heart
that upsets my eyes
when I feel you yank.

I don’t want you
to be miserable
but I don’t want
to be either.

I can’t keep stepping over you
I want you out of my room
off of my floor, out of my eyes
and free from my mind.

I want
to stop
needing
you.

You have been cruel
treated me poorly
but somehow
somehow

You’ve crept under my skin
slipped into my veins
and withdrawals are always
the hardest part.

When I wake alone
crashing the morning
I think of you
My bones begin to ache

It’s a yearning for
the trip-
not at the end where
the addiction was a sickness

Where I forced you
into my blood by
pulling small veins
severing nerves

from my wrists
from my neck
and this one
connects my heart

No, I am missing
in yearning desire
the summit-
the peak of the high

The time when
you touched me
and my skin
erupted

When just your eyes
could ground me
root me to the earth
and lift me higher than

I long for the world
the one we created
between our bodies
that made me question

everything.
Searching for a truth
in the world outside
our reality.